The dinosaur grabs two cars and a bucket of fail

When visiting secondhand stores and browsing for dinosaur books, I buy less than I find. Often, books just aren't interesting enough to bother with. On a recent trip to a Goodwill store, I found a book that may have originally come with a Hot Wheels race track, filled as it was with Hot Wheels cars being victimized in various ways by prehistoric beasts. We often note that we don't blame illustrators for dinosaur art that is less than accurate. They're being paid to do a job, and probably don't have the luxury of fussing over details and corresponding with paleontologists. This book was the perfect example; whoever wrote it couldn't even be bothered to distinguish the animals from each other, calling each one "dinosaur." Which lead to this unfortunate page of fail.



Beyond the fact that it's sadly called a dinosaur, there's so much wrong here. The bizarre crest! The teeth! The outlandishly exaggerated scale! The gross wingy tendony things! The rest of the book couldn't quite match this level of doublefacepalmitude, but I had to snap a quick photo of this one.

Got to admit though, the dinosaur-themed Hot Wheels tracks look more fun than a barrel of anurognathids.



Beat that!

The (not quite) Ten Commandments for Dinosaur Collectibles

Dinosaur collectibles (both toys and more expensive, breakable, resin creations) have made huge strides forward in recent years, especially in terms of anatomical accuracy. While it's easy to dismiss the interests of us man- (and woman-) children, actual kids who know their dinosaurs are also more likely to plump for models that look 'real' just because, hey, a convincing-looking dinosaur is just that much cooler than one that looks like a goofy 1970s (or even 1990s) throwback. Obviously, certain concessions still need to be made, particularly for the toy market - for example, I don't think anyone's blaming manufacturers for truncating awkward sauropod tails.

Nevertheless, there are still persistent goofs - a lot of them stemming from palaeoart memes or good old pop culture inertia, but some of them from plain laziness - that could easily be avoided. With that in mind, I've drawn up this here list - the (not quite) Ten Dino Toy Commandments, if you will. As a bonus, these rules handily apply to other forms of palaeoart too! Hooray.

1. Thou shalt not be stingy when feathering thy maniraptors



Above: the Safari 'Great Dinos' Velociraptor is well-proportioned, and the head is excellently sculpted, but it's probably a little chilly owing to its lack of a warm feathery coat. Promotional pic from Safari's website.

Self-explanatory, really, and still an area where there's masses of room for improvement on all sides. It's space-year 2011 now - we've got to the stage where dystopian visions of shiny advertising screens in our public transport systems have become a nightmarish reality, but more positively we have also entered a new 'golden age' of discovery in palaeontology. The Mesozoic world becomes more fascinating, more outrageous, more colourful, and more vivid with each passing year. And yet still, damnit, manufacturers are inexplicably churning out scaly maniraptors like it's 1993.

What's more, anyone who isn't an idiot will agree that feathered maniraptors invariably look more attractive and far cooler than their inaccurate, scaly counterparts - when they're done properly, anyway. There's no need to worry about people being turned off by a feathered Velociraptor.

2. Thou shalt not demean thy theropods with rabbity hands

Another mistake that just won't go away, and typically the result of people copying out-of-date palaeoart, or simply making assumptions based (presumably) on human or mammalian anatomy. While it's very easy for us, as freaky primates, to rotate our forearm so that the palm faces the ground, in theropod dinosaurs this was actually a physical impossibility; the forearm would have been 'locked' with the palms facing inward. This is still true of modern birds. Theropods with rabbit/zombie hands aren't only wrong, they often look completely ridiculous.

3. Sauropods were NOT elephants


Above: the Schleich Replica-Saurus Apatosaurus, suffering from a bad case of 'elephant's foot'. Photo by Stefan Schröder, from the Dinosaur Toy Blog.

This one is presented as a simple statement in the hope that it will forever hang around in the minds of dino-sculptors, manifesting as a sinister whisper in their ears whenever they think about giving a sauropod elephant feet, or elephant nails, or elephant skin, or an elephant torso etc. etc. Once again: sauropods were NOT elephants. The only similarity is large size and in that regard even medium-sized sauropods make the largest elephant alive today - Loxodonta africana - look a little bit small. In fact, sauropods were radically different to elephants, and that includes their feet - especially their forefeet (or hands), which were a concave collonade of digits with only one claw. So no more sauropods with five elephantine nails on their round hands, please.

4. Ceratopsians were NOT rhinos

See 3. Ceratopsians actually had differentiated digits on their hands and feet - they were not united in a single paw.

5. Fear not interesting colour schemes, for they bring great beauty


Above: the Collecta Torosaurus might have a few anatomical flaws, but the striking colour scheme on the head is to be commended

Too often dinosaur toys continue to be rendered in the same earthy greens, browns and greys, a palette that can become quite monotonous over time. Although the problem of sauropods inevitably being painted in 'elephant grey' is slowly disappearing, manufacturers often show a sad lack of imagination when it comes to ceratopsian frills. Since they were almost certainly involved in display, there's a great opportunity there for showy, dazzling patterns and colours that's often missed. Collecta are starting to cotton on to this (their Torosaurus stands out a mile), and I'm hoping that other companies will follow suit.

6. Thou shalt render ankylosaurs in all their insane glory


Above: the Papo "Ankylosaurus", lovingly and admirably detailed but, alas, totally tubular. Dude.

Ankylosaurs are quite popular subjects for dinosaur toys, and yet they are very rarely got right. Perhaps the best one in the 'serious' toy market is the Favorite "Ankylosaurus", which is actually a Euoplocephalus. A very good Euoplocephalus, as it happens. The most common mistake made when sculpting ankylosaurs is giving them a rather 'tubular' body, when in fact the very wide hips meant that it flared out crazily over the rear end. This rule can also be applied to the neck of one sauropod in particuar - Apatosaurus, with its barmy neck o' fatness. Very few Apatosaurus models are anatomically correct in this respect, and when they are even palaeontologists find them weird to look at. When dinosaurs are strange, don't hold back on the strangeness!

7. Thou shalt consult with palaeontologists

This applies especially to 'museum' or 'scale replica' lines. Toys they may be, but anything with that tag - for example the Schliech Replica-Saurus, Bullyland Museum Line and Carnegie collections - deserves serious scrutiny, as they profess an educational remit. Granted, when there is a lot of reference material available for an animal and the sculptor knows what they're doing, this might not be necessary. However, most palaeontologists will be happy to offer their expertise in pursuit of a well-crafted figure, and they'll usually do it for free. (I nearly said 'always', but...you never know.) This entry goes out in particular to Papo, who make some of the most finely sculpted and painted dinosaurs out there - that also happen to be riddled with frustrating inaccuracies most of the time. If they got hold of an expert or two their dinosaur line could be a world-beater.

8. Thou shalt not rip off Jurassic Park...yet again

Seriously, people. Especially the T. rex. Bored already. I can see the obvious incentive when it comes to sales, but come on! More imagination, please.

9. Er...

10. That's it. If you can think of any more, or disagree with some of mine, or think that this blog has gone way downhill recently with all this toy-related stuff, then comment! Heaps of geek points available to the person who knows which magazine I've ripped off (although theirs was a rip-off too).

Give them a big hand

More Deinocheirus goodness for you (and also toy news, ahem). The good people at Collecta, who make respectable animal figurines for us discerning collector-folk (or toys, if you prefer), have unveiled their new sculpt of Deinocheirus mirificus - hitting the shelves in 2012. D. mirificus, as any fule kno, is only known from a single pair of partially complete giant arms. Hypotheses as to what the whole animal looked like have varied over the years, but the most plausible idea currently appears to be that it was a giant ornithomimosaur, although a primitive one. Collecta have run with this idea, and produced what appears to be one of the best ornithomimosaur toys to date.



Not only is it bipedal (rather than leaning on its tail), it has a lovely covering of 'protofeathers' and a suitably attractive colour scheme - I particularly like the head. Being a primitive ornithomimosaur, the animal still has a first toe (or hallux) on each foot.

Perhaps most importantly, this figure marks the zenith of what has been a stunning turn-around by Collecta. Until quite recently they were widely derided as being producers of crudely sculpted, anatomically incorrect, child-friendly dreck, but now they're really upping their game, just as other manufacturers appear to be losing it. They're definitely one to watch for dino figures in 2012, especially if their other recently-announced (and somewhat less hypothetical) theropods can match this one.

This article was by no means just an excuse to use that pun-tastic headline. Also, apologies for bringing toys up once again. You can blame Taranaich for encouraging me. Kidding, kidding...

Alas, poor Papo

As some of you may already be aware (and if not, then sit up straight and pay attention at the back), I have a certain hobby that involves collecting certain plastic/resin figures and sometimes reviewing them for a certain website based on their aesthetic qualities, anatomical accuracy and so on. It's a fun way to acrue a large collection of colourful tat and fritter away money that, let's face it, I'd probably just be splurging on booze otherwise.

Anyway, one of the most popular manufacturers of dinosaur collectibles is the French company Papo. While they make no claim to scientific authority or accuracy, their models are nevetheless stunningly sculpted and painted, and often pretty decent anatomically anyway (I particularly like their Styracosaurus). There have been some howlers, but in those cases it's easy to see where they've gone wrong - basically, the sculptor has followed popular, but mistaken palaeoart memes.

And then recently, this was announced.



Oh boy.

The question I wish to put to you, o Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs readership, is this - where on Earth do you think the inspiration for this thing came from? This wouldn't be an issue if Papo were just churning out lazy, poorly-made figures - but they're not. In fact, the fine details and immaculate paintwork on most Papos can't really be matched at their price point. Even when they produce anatomically dubious figures, they at least look pretty.

But this one - it looks like a Crystal Palace plesiosaur with a mosasaur head grafted on, Frankenstein-stylee. Some people have excused it on the grounds that it's 'retro', but Charles Knight was painting more accurate Tylosaurus restorations back in 1899.

Naturally, the figure has sparked off a lively discussion among the prehistoric-animal-toy-collecting community (stop laughing), with some even questioning why Papo are bothering to attach scientific names to figures like this.

However, I'd like a little outsider opinion, especially as I know a number of artists read this blog. As always, please do comment.

Finally, I'm sorry for dragging this silly toy nonsense over to Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs. Superior content (from David) will resume shortly.

Thanks to Christophe for acquiring the catalogue scan.

Dr. Noonian Soong, Dinosaur Lover

As devotees of my Twitter feed can attest (and a raucous legion they are), I'm a hopeless fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation. After not seeing it since its original run, which I had fond memories of, I am currently revisiting the entire series on Netflix, and just finished the really terrific third season. When I began the third episode of season 4, I had vague memories of it, being the episode in which Data, the android officer on the U.S.S Enterprise, meets his long-lost creator, a cyberneticist named Dr. Noonian Soong. What I didn't remember was that Dr. Soong is apparently a dinosaur enthusiast, as well. His lab is crammed with paleo goodies. Just take a look.

Here, Dr. Soong grabs a plastic dinosaur out of the jaws of what I assume is a cast of a tyrannosaur skull. He proceeds to arrange it with his other figures in the large diorama in the foreground of the image at the top of the post.

Behind Data's evil brother, Lore, you can see a Triceratops model, which I think is one of those balsa wood skeleton kits.

In this later shot, which shows the bookshelves to have been reshuffled, you see the Triceratops again, as well as a couple of skulls. A mammal of some sort and what appears to be a Dimetrodon on the lower right.

At the end of the episode, Data generously bequeaths two of Soong's dinosaurs to two young brothers.

In his review of the episode for the AV Club, Zack Handlen remarks, "They still have toy dinosaurs in the future that look about the same as the toy dinosaurs I had growing up. This pleases me." It is pretty odd that even in the idealized future of Star Trek, in which you'd imagine that even corporations would be held to a high moral standard - and therefore above cynically cranking out obsolete dinosaur figures for a quick buck - some toy company is still producing man-in-suit theropods. There are alternative explanations, of course: maybe these are part of a collection passed down through generations of Soongs. Or maybe... just maybe... Paleontological research between now and the 2300s will completely overturn the current thinking, and we'll be back with upright tyrannosaurs, swamp-bound sauropods, and other quaint depictions we so smugly scoff at now. Kind of horrifying, isn't it?

What kind of paleontology is being done in the 24th century? It's not all star travel, after all; in the episode before this, Captain Picard briefly considers taking a post which would have him take charge of a deep sea research station. What new localities have opened up? What does the new technology reveal that we can't see? How has the phylogeny been rearranged? Most pressingly, what stops paleophiles of the future from whiling away their lives exploring simulated Mesozoic worlds created on Holodecks?*

It's not the most notable intersection of dinosaurs and Star Trek - that honor would have to go to the Voth, a hadrosaurian dinosauroid encountered by the crew of the Voyager in that series. I haven't committed myself to diving into that particular pool, but if I do, I'll be sure to write up a nice chunk o' blogginess about it.

*For the Philistines and Star Wars fans among us, a holodeck is a sort of immersive virtual reality technology introduced in The Next Generation.

Marc's recent Dinosaur Toy Blog reviews

Tangentially related toy dinosaur photo by RDL, via Flickr. Included, as Marc would say, "'cos I need piccy."

Just in case you weren't aware, new LITC writer Marc Vincent has also been writing for the Dinosaur Toy Blog for a while. Even though I'm not much of a collector, the DTB is one of my favorite blogs to check out, dealing with toys ranging from stunning achievements of true artistry to "beaten with the ugly stick." Reviewing figures for dinosaur geeks naturally involves critiquing scientific accuracy, so you get some educational value, too. Folks seem delighted by the mere fact of DTB's existence; when I recently tweeted a link to a review, it got a surprised "there's a blog for everything!" reaction.

Check out Marc's recent reviews of figures of Ankylosaurus and Torosaurus. Not that Marc's the only quality writer there, but you know. I'm obligated to crow louder for him.

Gunther Keil's Wooden Dinosaur Toys

Don't let the shop name fool you - Arks and Animals contains some seriously nerdy paleontological toys. The enormous growth of crafting outlets on the web has naturally resulted in shabby work getting a larger venue than it really deserves. But that just means that work of a high quality is truly refreshing, and Gunther Keil's wooden toys certainly are. The high level of craftsmanship he holds himself to is evident.



His Dinosaur Story Box is exactly the kind of toy I'd purchase for my own son or daughter. It captures the charm of the wooden Noah's Ark toys I had when I was young. I take that back. It's actually much better. Unfortunately, it recently sold, but there are other dinosaur toys to pick from. I'll bet he'd make even more if the demand is high enough!

Dinosaur Spotting at Target

I'm going to get all Dinosaur Toy Blog on y'all today, as I took the liberty of snapping some photos of a few dinosaur toys at Target this week. forgive the lo-res quality of these. I've got a chintzy little Samsung, not some boo-boo iPhone or android. No instagram/ hipstamatic flavor here. Though the popularity of those nostalgiafying photo apps probably indicates that in a few decades, these photos will be perfectly fashionable.

Anyhow, the first three are from the Mattel "Prehistoric Pets" series. When I saw the first two, I wasn't even sure that they were intended to be dinosaurs. I was right about the first one, which turns out to be a heavily stylized Dimetrodon. Not sure that it's the best toy for a little kid, though, as it gives a surprisingly strong bite.



There's another which turns out to be a Carnotaurus, which takes the short snout of the abelisaur to an extreme, ending up with what looks more like an anurognathid pterosaur's kisser. Just mind that squirt alert, people.



The only other member of this collection in stock was the instantly recognizable, chimeric pterosaur thing "Terrordactyl," which is not to be messed with. I'm not sure I want to know what a "sticky grub projectile" is. It can't be pleasant.



Of course, you want to see these in action, don't you?





Finally, there's this blue Dilophosaurus, clearly inspired by the Jurassic Park depiction of the Jurassic theropod.



The toy was probably designed off the top of someone's head, as it's hard to imagine any image of it was consulted. The animal's titular crests have been pushed back to behind the eyes. The strangest feature, though, are those hands. They're correctly oriented, but they've only got two digits. If this was a tyrannosaur, we'd be in great shape. But it's not. So, you know. Recall time, Target.

Pathology

My absolute favorite thing to do when standing before a mounted dinosaur is to look for pathologies. That's a fancy, exquisitely sciencey way of saying that I like to spot evidence injuries or sickness - spots where disease or violent mischief have left their mark on the animal's skeleton in the form of breaks, holes, or my personal favorite: big, knobbly protrusions. One of the dinosaurian residents of my cubicle at work is a daily reminder of this sublime pleasure.



As you can see, his left forelimb has been completely broken in two. But he soldiers on.



I've had this little dude since I was little. I may have found it in an Easter basket, cleverly hidden among the candy in his egg form. That's the cool thing: when necessary, he can be cracked open, and his limbs, head, and tail can fold in. He was made by Bandai, and unfortunately the blue pterosaur that was his faithful partner in crime went missing long ago.

We miss you, blue pterosaur.

Grimlock by Tom Whalen

Tom Whalen's artwork hits a bunch of my sweet spots, with its bold colors, propaganda poster compositions, and twisted treatment of pop culture. As with any illustrator I'm new to, I did a quick scan through his work for anything dinosaurian. No straight up dinosaurs, but he makes the cut for this cool illustration of Grimlock, the leader of the posse of Transformers called the Dinobots. As Whalen writes at his blog, robots and dinosaurs are at the top of the heap of cool things. "...imagine taking the two, engineering them into a single toy that converts from one to the other and you'll begin to see why a generation of kids (myself gleefully included) was hypnotized by the transformers craze of the 80's."


grimlock poster by *strongstuff on deviantART

For more of Whalen's work, check out his DeviantArt, his Etsy shop, his blog, and his Tumblr. Grimace and Grimlock in a single day. I was not prepared for this when I woke up.

Oh yeah. One last thing. Hey, DeviantArt, how about some better embeddables? I don't mind watermarks. What you've got now is straight up clunky.

Crackerjackin'

Cracker Jacks have long stood atop the summit of snack food mountain, a proud sweet and salty sentinel attracting children with the very finest manufactured playthings that can fit inside a small, peanut-and-popcorn stuffed box. It's no surprise that the marketing whizzes at Cracker Jack chose tiny plastic dinosaurs for some of their prizes. The set was given the reference number F6300. It included such nuggets of prehistoric joy as the "Large Lizard," pictured with the selection below. Right next to his faithful friend, "square plated."



F6300 can be yours for nine measly little dollars. Considering that they were once given away for free and probably cost pennies to produce, that's an enormous bump in value over the last sixty years.

Now consider that this seller is unloading them for ten times less than their listed value in something called Mr. White's Unofficial Crack Jack Price Guide. I have no reason to doubt the veracity of this. I can scarcely imagine a better investment.

Blockiosaurus and Friends

Holy mackerel. These are cool. Flickr member Aurore & Aube has been creating incredible Lego models of dinosaurs, dragons, and other fantastic creatures. These aren't rudimentary, blocky figures which only offer a vague suggestion of the animals' shapes; they have a sense of motion and character.











I hope he continues creating these... I'd love to see what he could do with Therizinosaurus, Spinosaurus, Parasaurolophus, or any number of animals, living or dead.

Playmobil Dinosaurs

So, apparently Playmobil released a dinosaur series in 2008. I had no idea, and I have to admit: they're durned cute. If you're into expensive toys, check 'em out here.

Deinonychus

Spinosaurus


Triceratops

All images by TimSpfd, via flickr.

Dimetrodon Juan

Continuing this week's theme of frivolous dino-kitsch (necessitated by an unholy amount of work), I submit this piece of nondino-kitsch. I guess I'll call it pelyco-kitsch. It's my model of the Permian era's most recognizable beast, the finback pelycosaur Dimetrodon. I couldn't have been older than five or six when I got it, and I'd imagine it came from the Field Museum gift shop. My dad used to drive me up there, which I'm sure was fun for him, but it was also probably an excuse to drive his little MGB convertible on Lake Shore Drive.



I love the face; it almost has a Tlingit quality to it. I also remember the set anachronistically including a club-wielding caveman, presumably for scale purposes only. But I remember the caveman being absolutely tiny. He didn't even reach the dimetrodon's knee. This is comically out of whack; he should have been about have as tall as the dimetrodon is long. The caveman was lost a long time ago, so I can't confirm this hazy memory.

Preserved in Plastic

Plastic dinosaurs are a perennial inspiration for photographers, it seems. There's something comforting and nostalgic about them, and as models go, they're pretty easy to deal with. Flickr user Velvette Gypsy posted a bunch of them recently.


Too bad she didn't have a plastic Baryonyx or spinosaur! You know, because they liked the fish.


This one is described as "dinosaur riding," but if I was that T. rex, I'd be pretty nervous. I don't think Yoda has honorable intentions.

Gigantoraptor Zoid and the Dinobots

I have no clue what a Zoid is, and I'm too pressed for time to look it up on Wikipedia. Whatever the point of zoiding is, Gigantoraptor is a great beast to zoid.


Image by rogerhuihk, via flickr

Sort of looks like them old Transformers toys that got made into a couple Michael Bay movies. Of course, the Transformers had their own robotic dinosaurs, cleverly called the Dinobots. A couple of nutty Autobots had the brilliant idea to make some fightin' dinosaur comrades, but make them incredibly stupid. I could try to unravel their convoluted history or let you figure it out for yourself.

Toy-ribble Lizards and other Rotten Puns

Belly-up in heaven, from the Dinosaur Toys Collectors Guide

Just was tipped off to a relatively new site on the webs: The Dinosaur Toys Collectors Guide. Site owner Barry is quite a dedicated fellow, and the site is exhaustive. Tons of pictures arranged by dinosaur or by manufacturer. Plus, there's some good science mixed in with the sugar. Kind of the way you eat Lucky Charms for the tasty marshmallows and end up getting some wholesome cereal with it. Like the Knight book I posted yesterday, toys provide a look at our changing ideas of ancient life. It takes a guy like Barry to photograph them at the supermarket and provide corny captions.

Away We Go

Jennie and I leave tomorrow for the UK, to spend two glorious yuletide weeks in a veritable winter wonderland. From what I understand, the English do possess rather advanced technology, and the internet should be accessible. But I've taken the precaution of scheduling a full slate of LITC posts for the duration of the trip. No slackin' off here!

We'll be flying in an Airbus A319, apparently. If only I flew in true style. Like the mighty Rasp.

Image courtesy dinoriders.com

Six Oviraptors a-laying...

Looking for a cheap gift? Buy this positively Luis Rey-ian nesting Oviraptor for someone you feel affection for.

Speaking of Rey and Oviraptor, one thing I love about Gee and Rey's largely speculative A Field Guide to Dinosaurs is the description of Oviraptor's nesting habits. Gee writes that Oviraptor and Protoceratops nest in mixed colonies, and that one way Oviraptor pays its keep is by preying on small mammals and reptiles, potential egg-stealers. It's a bit of dino-humor, because Oviraptor literally means "egg-thief," based on the fact that the original fossil was found near a nest of what were believed to be Protoceratops eggs. We've found fossils of brooding oviraptorids (as well as actual fossilized embryos in their eggs), so the name isn't quite accurate anymore.

Then again, that little contradiction may not matter at all. The only specimen we have of Oviraptor philoceratops itself has a badly damaged skull which does not bear the kind of crest you see in the model above. That head more looks like that of the closely related Citipati. And the brooding oviraptorids? They're all Citipatis. My guess is that the people at Safari, makers of the figure, chose name recognition over accuracy here.

O. philoceratops nest at the AMNH, via Wikimedia Commons. Uploaded by FunkMonk

Dino-Riders

Here's the whole first episode of the classic toy-based cartoon Dino-Riders. Why? Because this the pinnacle of televised entertainment for suburban American caucasian males growing up in the 1980's. And probably for everyone else, too.