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I post this today not to reopen old wounds, but to remind the world of past mistakes so they might never happen again. Let's keep our toymakers out of taxonomy.



These, the most famous of the ancient marine reptiles, are also very frequently called dinosaurs. Plesiosaurs were long-necked, short tailed reptiles; popular depictions of the Loch Ness monster usually resemble them. Icthyosaurs are more "dolphin-like" in appearance, with slender snouts and long tails. Mosasaurs are just frickin' huge sea monsters, really, and a member of the proud tradition thatwould produce modern snakes and lizards: they are called squamates, and their scales overlap.They are all aquatic diapsids, reptiles who became adapted to a marine lifestyle but are descended from landlubbing ancestors. It's pretty easy: if it has flippers, it ain't a dinosaur. Dinosaurs didn't live in the water. (Illustrations of Plesiosaurs and Icthyosaurs by Heinrich Harder, public domain. Mosasaur by Arthur Weasley)
The mammoths look familiar enough, being big, hairy elephants, that it's only rarely that I see them called them a dinosaur. Glyptodonts, though... I've seen it happen quite a few times. I suppose because of their body plan, which superficially resembles the armored, club-tailed ankylosaurs. Well, they're mammals, so they're more closely related to dimetrodon than any dinosaur, and they lived a great many millions of years after the Cretaceous era, and the dinosaurs' reign, ended. In fact, the've only been gone for about 10,000 years, and our own ancestors walked among them in South America, using those big domes to create the Miocene version of suburban cul-de-sacs (JK, though they did use them as shelter). They actually are distant relatives of today's armadillos, so those of us who can't wrap our heads around the fact that superficial resemblance doesn't always correlate to evolutionary affinity can smile at that small victory. The Germans, by the way, call armadillos panzerschwein, which means armored pig, and that is totally boss. If you ever want to spend some good quality time with some panzerschwein, head down to Cumberland Island National Seashore. The place is lousy with 'em. (Illustration of Glyptodon and modern humans by Heinrich Harder, public domain)