Where fibreglass dinosaurs go to die

One further indulgence in the world of ugly life-sized models before our illustration-reviewing service resumes (Asher's got a corker coming up by the look of it, and I'll probably be able to squeeze a VDA out in the near future, too). Earlier in the year, Niroot and I visited Blackgang Chine to gawp at their newly mobile dinosaur collection. While a few of the old stodgy static models do remain, we did wonder - what happened to the rest, not least that most memorable of mascots, The World's Derpiest T. rex?

Well, Arron Swaffar, aka The Nutters Productions, found out...

One would've thought that Blackgang wouldn't miss out on the opportunity to make a crafty few quid by auctioning off bits of their beloved old dinosaurs, but no - here they are, broken up and heaped on a cliff top out of sight of the public. The film doesn't need disconcerting music and echoing voice samples to shock - for any fan of Blackgang and/or ugly '70s dinosaur models, this is heartbreaking stuff.

By the way, there really is an abandoned house in an area owned by the park - long since left behind in the face of unstoppable coastal erosion. And now it's haunted by a caveman family. Brrr...

The Illustrated Triassic Club

Oscar, Darwin, and Wallace

Several readers may recall Marc's having covered Blackgang Chine's The Triassic Club before. After our return this Easter to view the newly installed robosaurs of Restricted Area 5, I decided to finally complete this little project which I had actually begun a year ago, that of accurately illustrating the gentlemanly trio (which, for me, also meant accurate period garments, naturally). This was not only overdue but was especially necessary, since the inclement weather during the latter part of our Isle of Wight visit prevented me from drawing a dinosaur on Shanklin beach as I did last time.

Restricted Area Five

After 42 years and countless family photos, Blackgang Chine's much-loved 'Dinosaurland' is no more. The majority of the park's endearingly grotesque and climbable fibreglass creations have, alas, gone the way of their living counterparts. However, this is not to say that the park has given up on saurian-themed clifftop gardens - rather, they've been busy developing a revamped Dinosaurland, one in which the creatures aren't content just to stand there looking less-than-pretty. That's right - they've only gone and bought a load of rubbery robosaurs. Welcome, then, to the enigmatically named Restricted Area 5...home to the some of the largest ugly dinosaurs in Britain! So it goes.

All photos by me, unless marked 'NP', in which case they're Niroot's.

Blackgang revisited

The few remaining long-term readers may recall that, in May last year, I wrote a little post on the hilariously grotesque model dinosaurs of Blackgang Chine, an amusement park of sorts teetering on a cliff edge (literally) on the Isle of Wight. Happily, I returned recently with Niroot and, well, I thought that a few photos of us titting about with the dinosaurs might provide some amusement.

Here, Niroot surveys the perma-grinning head of the bizarre brachiosaur, one of the few models visible on Google Maps (don'tcha know). As noted previously, most of the models date from 1972, and presumably reflect whatever palaeoart the sculptors could get their hands on, which probably largely consisted of the likes of Neave Parker. Hence, weirdo lizard feet.

In fact, Darren Naish has blamed Neave Parker (all right, he might have been joking) for the park's Polacanthus, seen here taking Niroot for a ride. It's one of many sprawling oddities with body parts jutting in peculiar directions, but it has quite an adorable face. Anyone who asks 'Which one are you referring to?' will be summarily banned. BANNED I tell you.

Somewhat less adorable is this guano-smeared Hypsilophodon, which has the terrifying slit-pupil goggle eyes of a Jurassic Park raptor, and is about to bite Niroot's hand clean off.

Niroot can surely relate, then, to the plight of this poor baby Protoceratops, isolated from its mother and about to become the highly perforated prey of this scary...thing. There's no explanatory sign whatsoever, but I'm willing to bet that it's supposed to be a nothosaur of some sort (based on a hazy memory of another park).

Remember Stegoslug? For my money, it's the most hideous model at Blackgang, even ousting the sad-faced giant mushroom and Old Mother Hubbard (of bare cupboard fame). As you can see, it's also offensively gigantic, dwarfing Niroot with its hulking, lumpen, fibreglass frame. This, truly, is a dino-eyesore. Hurr.

The Triceratops is somewhat better, although its fangs-and-elephant-molars dental combo is a little alarming. Interestingly, photos from the 1970s appear to show this model without the fangs, which means that either they were added later, or the head (or indeed entire model) was replaced somewhere down the line. I write based on the premise that starting a sentence with the word 'interestingly' will make it interesting.

Eek.

There's a Styracosaurus too, but unlike the Triceratops this mould isn't unique to Blackgang; indeed, it's popped up in several parks in Britain and, believe it or not, globally. There's even one in that creepy abandoned theme park in Berlin. Blackgang's example has the notable advantage of a wild paint job to go with the creative interpretation of the animal's anatomy.

Another model that surfaces all over the place is this Tanystropheus, which I neglected to feature last time - finally, I can sleep soundly at night once more. I'm rather fond of the paint scheme on this one, even if the model's boringly commonplace.

And finally...everyone loves derpy T. rex.

This is a grown man in a full-time job, if not quite yet with a mortgage.

"It seemed quite likely that the Stegosaurus and Triceratops wouldn't reach Southampton on time"

Back in May I paid a visit to Blackgang Chine, a theme park of sorts located on the Isle of Wight (off the south coast of England), and wrote of my exploits with the park's charmingly vintage and hideous dinosaur models.

It recently occurred to me that the transportation of Blackgang's dinosaur models, from the factory where they were made in Yorkshire all the way down to Blackgang, was covered by the enduringly uncool children's TV show Blue Peter back in 1972, and that someone must have uploaded the footage online. Happily, they have! (Unhappily, they've also disabled embedding, so you'll have to jump over to YouTube.)

While only the Stegosaurus and Triceratops are shown in the video, the amusing narration - complete with handy route map and the presenters stumbling over those tricksy dinosaur names - makes this short clip definitely worth watching. Hell, I'd say it's worth it for the 1970s fashions alone.

Interestingly, it seems that the Triceratops as originally shipped to the park was fang-free. Which begs the question...when did it gain that set of sinister, carnivorous toothy pegs?

Blackgang Chine: Part 2: The old Triassic Club

In addition to its vintage 'Dinosaurland', Blackgang Chine has one other major Mesozoic-themed attraction. Much like the giant, brightly-coloured fibreglass mushrooms (occasionally with faces) that dot the hillside in various areas of the park, it is quite delightfully unhinged. Step right this way!

The Triassic Club was first 'discovered' in 1994, following a major landslide that necessitated the relocation of several major attractions (including a replica cowboy town). As is usual at Blackgang, the premise is explained by way of a pleasingly silly rhyme.

Lots of people have drawn dinosaurs in rather gentlemanly outfits, presumably because it's a vision that never ceases to be hilarious. Blackgang went one better, and stocked the Triassic Club with full-size robot beasts decked out in formal finery. Guests are greeted by Wallace, the butler, who complains witheringly about the master's demanding nature. He also requests that you kindly weigh yourself on a set of scales that denote which course of the feast you are most suited to becoming.

Once weighed, it's time to move on to the next room where the master awaits! He introduces himself as Darwin the Allosaurus - "whom some have the cheek to call the 'other lizard'" - and intones in a louche, aristocratic manner that his guests "sssmell sssscrumptioussss". Requesting that the starter come forward, he nevertheless rejects the notion of eating any vegetarians, explaining that they tend to stick in his teeth.

At a nearby piano - and apparently enjoying a hearty ale - is Oscar, whose wide-eyed, stern facial expression is just priceless. When realising that his drawling, salivating monologue isn't winning his guests over to the idea of becoming lunch, Darwin laments that he'll have to sing for his supper again. And so Oscar strikes a chord...

(You might have to turn your volume up a bit, sorry!)


I've always enjoyed this attraction. Except when I was a small child, when the idea of a leering, toothy dinosaur speaking in a haughty aristocratic accent scared the hell out of me. Granted, the animatronics are hardly Disney-calibre, but then it wasn't made on that kind of budget (and it's getting old). One final thing worth mentioning - before a refurb a couple of years back Darwin had a different soundtrack that was actually far creepier. Happily, someone's uploaded it for posterity! Enjoy!

Blackgang Chine: Part 1

Smile! It's time for some goofy fibreglass dinosaurs...

Blackgang Chine is a tourist attraction on the southernmost tip of the Isle of Wight, an island off the south coast of England. It originally opened in 1843 around a scenic gorge leading down to the sea - such gorges are known as 'chines' on the island - and has been owned by the same family, the Dabells, ever since. For decades, it operated as a purely scenic attraction with some pretty landscaping, a fin whale skeleton and some gnomes, but a visit to the newly-built Disneyland inspired the owners to create a series of themed tableaux set on the hillside, mostly consisting of fibreglass models. 

The dinosaurs were added in 1972, and the vast majority (if not all) survive to this day, in spite of the fact that most of the park is in perpetual danger of falling into the sea at a moment's notice, and in spite of the fact that during the famous (er, in Britain) storm of October 1987 a lot of them did end up in the sea. Looming bizarrely out of the trees on a cliff edge, they are grotesque and often very hilarious. Of course, they also have a nostalgic appeal for many people, including me (my first visit was in 1992).

The models often shown an interpretation of the animals' anatomy that's a little, uh, creative. In case you haven't guessed, the big blue guy is meant to be Brachiosaurus at about 1/2 scale. Its hosepipe neck and rather shapeless, lizardy body are certainly strange, but it's got nothing on some of the other models.

This might just be the derpiest Tyrannosaurus model ever. Certainly, it's a very strong contender. It's the man-in-a-suit tyrannosaurs of pre-1980s art writ large, and it's absolutely bloody hilarious - I love the way the neck merges into the torso with no shoulders to speak of, the weird squatting posture and the HUGE eyes. My cousin included for scale.

Oh boy. It's clear they were close to being on the money with this Triceratops (at least the head is basically the right shape, although it has sprawling forelimbs), but then somebody (presumably) became heavily intoxicated and thought "Bah, sod it, just add dirty great fangs into its beak. And give it molars". Of course, even this has nothing on...

STEGOSLUG! Just feast your eyes on that. And then prepare for...

PTERANODUCK! Actually, Blackgang were just championing the totally sensible hypothesis that Pteranodon used their beaks for dabbling, the apparently narrow beak of the skull actually supporting a very wide, keratinous sheath in life. It's just one of the many pterosaur heresies that those elitist, super-wealthy palaeontologists don't want you to hear.

Here we have Protoceratops, defending its nest from...something.One would expect Oviraptor, given the now-discarded idea that an Oviraptor with a crushed skull found on a nest was killed by an angry Protoceratops parent (it turned out that Oviraptor itself was the parent). However, it looks more like an ornithomimosaur, while a nearby sign identifies it as...Ornitholestes! Well, they all begin with 'O'...it's easy to confuse those damn complicated dinosaur names.

Here we have a giant Dimetrodon, and it clearly isn't happy about something. Bless its grumpy red-lined chops.

As well as a number of unique specimens, Blackgang also boast fibreglass dinosaurs that can be found in other parks. This puny-armed 1950s-style Iguanodon has even appeared on LITC before - remember Paradise Park? (Come on, somebody must've read that post.) Here, one has the opportunity to view it from both an elevated walkway and ground level, which helps emphasise its enormous size and is a rather nice idea, truth be told. Of course, Blackgang's Dinosaurland just couldn't possibly do without...

...Our old friend, the gigantor elasmothere-styracosaur thing! I love the near-psychedelic paint job and demonic, solid red eyes. When the model's this silly already, why not?

And finally...unlike most parks, Blackgang allow many of their dinosaurs to be climbed upon, which proves absolutely irresistible to children. Here we have a demonstration, utilising a rather odd-looking sprawling Polacanthus.

Come back tomorrow for an aristocratic singing allosaur!