David's Ultimate Wishlist of Interspecies Conflict Vidz

Though research continues to flesh out the fossil record, revealing dinosaurs to have been animals that lived as parts of their ecosystems just as living animals are today, the old concept of the prehistoric monster still has plenty of life in it. This manifests itself in the pastime of imagining interspecific conflict: Triceratops vs. Tyrannosaurus will probably always be the most popular of these, with worthy alternatives in Velociraptor vs. Protoceratops and Allosaurus vs. Stegosaurus.

A more recent addition to the ranks of Mesozoic prizefights has as its contestants the giant Asian tyrannosaur Tarbosaurus and its odd, little known contemporary Therizinosaurus. I've found it portrayed in models, artwork, interspecies conflict websites (here, here, and here, too), but I first realized its popularity through Youtube videos, which are accompanied by spirited debate in their comments sections (my favorite are people who stubbornly cling to their pet opinions, like only referring to Tarbosaurus as "Tyrannosaurus bataar"). It seems that you can't type a dinosaur's name into the search field without finding at least one interspecies conflict video, and thanks to some enterprising Youtubers, we can watch Therizinosaurus and Tarbosaurus scrap.

First, a clip from Tarbosaurus: The Mightiest Ever, a doc by Korean company EBS. I believe that this is a Greek translation for it, but you'll sternly correct me in the comments if I'm wrong, won't you now? The real reason [SPOILER ALERT] Therizinosaurus loses here is that his wrists are broken and he's confused about where his feathers are.



Next, it's "The Giant Claw," an episode of the supremely stupid Chased By Dinosaurs, in which an idiot is sent back in time to annoy prehistoric animals, who respond by mugging for the camera and occasionally knocking it over.



Finally, proof that a bit of can-do spirit and a free afternoon can result in something that puts the pros to shame.



I have to admit: I am a soggy dishrag. I just can't get into these arguments (which seem to have inspired a few of those modern B-movies Syfy cranks out). But if it has to happen, I'd encourage us to aspire to greater heights of absurdity. I mean, we all know what's going to happen in the example above. Slappy-slappy, bitey-bitey, bleedy-bleedy, yawny-yawny.

Therefore, I reveal David's Ultimate Wishlist of Interspecies Conflict Vidz:

1. A hundred Mononykus vs. Carcharodontosaurus: They'd swarm the big brute and crawl into all sorts of uncomfortable places.
2. Four strategically placed Incisivosaurus vs. Giraffatitan: Two words: beaver style.
3. Citipati vs. Gigantoraptor: I see the little dude running circles around Giganto while making some outrageously stupid shrieking sound. For about ten minutes.
4. Pot-bellied T. rex vs. the Jurassic Park T. rex. It's a draw, until Stan Winston strides out with a glock and empties a clip into Pot-belly.
5. Protoceratops vs. Leptoceratops. The most disgusting display of brutality and gore imaginable.

Think you can top me? Want to whack me over the head a few times with the +1Cudgel of Web Pedantry? Let me have it in the comments!